How to survive infidelity….

Infidelity is one of the major dangers that threatens any relationship…

Having an affair to someone other than your spouse has a deep impact on your marriage that may last for years even after ending up that relationship.

” I used to feel lonely and was not happy my marriage was ruined.. my life was nonsense… and suddenly she/he jumped in and out of the blow; and every thing has changed”

This is an example of excuses that people try to makeup to find away out their affairs.

However such pain can not be relieved easily…… lets say it may not be relieved at all

Infidelity is a huge burden that needs  so much effort and energy to survive..
Many studies show that infidelity impact on woman especially is much greater than the hardest physical pain she can ever bear..

And the question now is? is there any chance to ask such a woman for forgiveness??
In order to answer this question we need to understand first the consequences of infidelity…

When you realize that your spouse has an affair for someone else you face a huge feeling of insecurity. You start asking yourself; WHY!!! .
You feel that no one worth trust or love anymore.
You feel disturbed and confused. You get trapped in the dilemma of (Forgiveness or Revenge??!!!!)
You lose interest in life, You might blame yourself for what happened. Moreover your mind and heart suffer millions of negative thoughts and questions….

From several years of dealing with infidelity victims; I reached one significant fact which is; infidelity is hard to be forgiven

However it is not impossible…
If you are one of victims who suffered such a life threatening shock in your relationship; you can start following the coming few tips

1. It is time to start finding yourself

If you are a woman whose husband cheated on; your perspective to life should be changed. Thousands of women when get married be 100% dedicated to their marriage; focusing only on their spouse wants and needs. Meanwhile they lose their identity and stop thinking who they are ?!

Finding yourself is the first and major corner stone in surviving infidelity
Your vision should be reshaped now:
Try to think about the skills and talents You have, things You used to be interested in, achievements You have been dreaming of, Capabilities You have…etc

Once you know who you are, you will certainly be able to start following your dreams and have a new meaning of your life… Your mission!!

2. Do not ask why… ask what is next

Stop blaming yourself or asking why?.. help yourself to be above the situation for you to be able to think clearly how should you react?!

3. Do not pick the easy path

Do not just choose to leave or end your story that simple. Remember how much effort and energy you invested in your marriage. Then tell your self not to give up and work hard to keep what you have struggled for.

Then you will be able to deal with the major four negative feelings of pain; anger, grief, fears and negative self esteem.

By Dr.Nancy Maher
Relationships Expert, Marriage Counselor &Teenagers Life Coach
Internationally Certified NLP Coaching Practitioner (APC)
Former Assistant lecturer at the faculty of Pharmacy; GUC
Master in Pharmaceutical Chemistry; Diploma in BA; GUC

What do you think?

Written by Editor

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